Life is like a box of chocolates....

You never know what you're gonna get.... especially when it's a pass in an exam, that well... who cares - It's a pass!!! Yes that right peeps - I'm done, finished, CA is goneski, never again will you hear me utter the words "Well... I really should be studying..."

But that doesn't make for hugely interesting reading, so, while we are talking about learning, I would like to share with you all something more interesting and valuable, I like to call it....

Things that I learned on Sunday 15th April 2007....

- Never leave shopping for your picnic at the polo, until the day of the polo.

- Never take the battery out of your car (or let any one else take the battery out of your car!)

- If you do take the battery out of your car (I warned you not to!!) Do up ALL the bolts on the bracket that hold it in place really really really tightly!!

- If by some chance those bolts aren't done up really tightly - don't treat your Corolla like it's a 4WD bush basher (Ooops - that bit was my fault!!)

- If by some chance you forget that you're Corolla is not a 4WD and during your bush bashing the bolt that holds the bracket in place that holds your battery in place falls out and you subsequently drive over a speed bump in the supermarket car park after leaving your picnic shopping until the morning of the polo, and suddenly your car appears to die and smoke starts coming out of the hood..... Get Out (as apposed to sitting in the car wondering wether it would be an over reaction to get out.... car's don't really blow up, right?)

- If you didn't get out.... don't put the car in park (with the electrics blown, you won't be able to get it out of park to put it back into neutral to push it, and it will be at this point that you realise you are quite inconveniently blocking several cars in!!)

- You should join the NRMA at least 48 hours before this happens.... otherwise you will get to pay a bonus $150 for calling them out within the first 48 hours of joining.

- Random people will offer really helpful information at this point.... "That looks like a new car", "Isn't that a Toyota Corolla?.... They're normally really reliable".....Thanks!!

- Other people will abuse you for not moving the car....so at this point I'll help you - you can press the shift lock button which will actually allow you to change out of park into neutral..... now if only you could use one arm and leg to push the car, one arm to steer, and one foot to brake....technically possible i know!!

- No...... You're hazard lights do not work

- Once the NRMA man (who you will need to wait at least an hour for) explains to you that the now free moving bracket has slipped across as you went over the speed bump, connected with the terminal and sparked an electrical fire, "flattening" your battery - you should not believe him.

- Once he has jump started your car and told you everything is all right now.... DO NOT let him drive off, because as soon as he is gone you will try to drive home and your car will die in the middle of the round about on a hill, where people will beep at you to remind you to keep driving, as you have quite obviously forgotten how to drive.

- Once again...... you will need to wait an hour for an NRMA man.....

- Once again - do not put the car into park, although at least now if you do - you will know how to use the shift lock button!!

- Despite repeatedly calling and telling the NRMA that the man only just left, they will not send him back, you will get a new one (within the hour), probably just as well really, since the first one appears to have had no idea anyway.

- When the NRMA man does finally arrive, try not to look too shocked at the fact that he tells you "You're lucky.... I've seen probably six or seven cars where this has happened... totally burned out... destroyed.."

- You will not feel "Lucky"...

- When the NRMA man tells you that you need a new battery, the silence after that comment is meant to indicate to you, that despite the fact that he IS the NRMA, he doesn't do batteries....That's NRMA Battery Service - Contractors..... Don't worry, they'll be here....Within the HOUR!!!!!!!

- After three hours..... the kabana/cabanossi, that you bought for the picnic is ready for the eating - yep - right there in the car park!!

- You will eventually get home, although the polo has already started, so at this point i advise you take yourselves to a quiet location and enjoy some sanctuary, and your picninc in peace....

- Don't expect this to go right.... Nothing else has today.....

- When all else fails.... Have a drink!!! And remember - "You're Lucky!!"