Well maybe the opposite really - have been flat out with nothing exciting - not exactly thrilling reading!!! So decided not to bore you all along the way!!
However throughout the days of busy boredom... there have been a few little jammy moments - and this email was the highlight of a VERY long day (Thanks Luke!!) Have to share it with you all ....
The following letter was sent to a long time patron of a local Wal-MartStore. After receiving this letter, she vowed that she would NEVER takeher husband shopping with her again!! !
January 12, 2006
Re: Mr. Bill Fenton: Multiple Complaints
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causingquite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this type of behaviorand have considered banning the entire family from shopping in any ofour stores.We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment.Three of our clerk s are attending counseling from the trouble yourhusband has caused. All complaints against Mr. Fenton have been compiledand are listed below.
15 Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse is shopping:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people'scarts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minuteintervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to therestrooms.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,Code 3 in housewares..... and watched what happened.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's onlayaway.
6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told othershoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the beddingdepartment.
8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins tocry and asks 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as amirror, and picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, askedthe clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the"Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look"using different size funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through,yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, heassumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voicesagain!!!!"And, last, but not least!)
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waitedawhile; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
